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Sunday, September 28, 2008

on the edge of tears

It's almost 2 am, i have a massive headache and cannot sleep. I am finding myself on the edge of tears and cannot seem to cry. I am just waiting for the pain to subside, for my discomfort and regret to just leave me. I miss being comfortable, I miss sharing a bed. I miss having pots and pans, a place to come home to; someone to come home to. I miss ordering in, riding our bikes around the block, playing yahtzee. God I just miss it and know that I left for a reason, just can't seem to get past that. I know I left because I wanted more; i want more. But what is more? Is it someone better suited for me, adventure? Something less restricting at my age? I think it's all of those things, I just wish I was 40 and I was okay with that situation and can just go back. I am so lonely and scared and worried that I won't find someone that gets me so well.

But now, he's gone.