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Friday, September 26, 2008

reality is more exciting than "happily ever after"

Just watched the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. GOD I love that show, despite the fact that I can't marry Patrick Dempsey. One of the things said was "reality is more exciting than happily ever after" and I would have to agree. Sadly, I can't see myself settling down. I feel like I would always wonder what other things would be like, other places, other people, other jobs...I don't know if I could be the happily married mother of 3 kids. I always thought that's what I would be, but now that I have tried the whole living with the boyfriend deal, I am scared to death that I won't be able to do it again. It was great, don't get me wrong, but I ended up leaving. And maybe that's because I'm 22 and curious and confused; I hope that's it. I truly want to find that one person that I couldn't leave, I couldn't imagine my life without (not in the creepy co-dependent way, but the "i'm so happy with you theres nobody else out there" way). But is that real? Or is it just a fairy tale that we've made up to make ourselves feel better? I guess only time will tell.

On a less provacative note- today I twisted my ankle again, the same ankle that a drunk dude fell on; so now it feels even worse. Whatever. I went to see Charlotte's play tonight and I loved it. It was called Grimm Tales; the stories closer to the real thing, rather than the "disney" versions. More real, less fantasy. Being there really made me miss high school and how truly simple it was compared to now. There were al these high schlool kids there laughing, holding hands with their newest boyfriends, gossiping... I miss having such a simple life where every day is planned out. School, practice, home, dinner, sleep. I miss being so innocent and naive and wide eyed about what's to come. Now I just feel lost. I really miss NH right now and the idea of snow and christmas time. I'm worried I won't be able to afford coming home for christmas :*( I NEED to be home for's just not right being away! I'll work on that.

Good things about today:

The play.
Chocolate chip cookies.
Sleeping in.
It was beautiful outside.
Looked at the stars.