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Saturday, November 29, 2008

oh, the misery

i'm struggling to keep a smile on my face lately. i was so happy, so excited about being somewhere new and starting over again....but then life got in the way. daily drama, death, frustration, disappointment, missing home, and being hurt by someone i loved for so long. it all caught up with me today and i feel so alone in it. i know i'm not, i know i have so many wonderful people in my life; it's just so hard not to feel alone in your own sadness and grief. i just need to get through this and then i'll have another happy streak, right? i know that i wouldn't feel happiness without the misery, but that optimistic viewpoint doesn't sit well with me while i'm serving coffee with a fake smile, really just wanting to thrown down my apron and bolt out the double doors.

i honestly don't know what i would do without my dog. she's always here when i come home, all excited and cute and it makes me feel better just seeing her tail wag. i know it's cheesy, but really....who doesn't smile when they see an excited dog? and when i'm sad, she knows it and she sits on my lap while i cry. i am so thankful for her : ) (even though she's stinky)