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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

my vent session, please enjoy

so, for the past week people have felt the need to confront me with completely and uitterly ridiculous things.

for example: i park on the street in front of my house daily and the ONE time i park in front of this particular neighbors house, the ONE time i don't pull up completely to the border of where the spot ends and the driveway begins, i get a note on the car explaining to me that i am taking up two spots and need to think about leaving room for her when CLEARLY there are a plethera of parking spots available for her use. i mean, i would understand leaving a note for a repeat offender, but i know for a fact that i am not a selfish parker!

second example: i'm on my porch and the husband of this same neighbor decides to tell me that i need to start picking up dog poop in the shared backyard because it hinders their enjoyment of it...well, sir, if i had ever seen you in the backyard that is infested with weeds and grass up to your chest then i would consider picking up my dogs poop (that is so disturbing to you when you are IN YOUR HOUSE all the time).

third example: i'm walking around the kitchen (which is upstairs in the house) at 6pm. minutes later, a roommate comes upstairs and complains that she can hear every move i am making. well you know, since it's clearly dinner time and there is no way for me to know (unless maybe you had told me) that you are trying to sleep at such an hour, please do not expect me to walk on my tip toes around my own kitchen, thanks.

fourth (and best) example: i show up to look at a new place to live because my living situation is far less than ideal right now (for various un-mentioned reasons). i call the lady because i cant seem to find the house. she answers with "this is shale, how may i help you", gives me attitude about having another phone call and tells me she'll open the door and come out. she does. i am standing at the gate with my dog and she yells "you can't bring your dog in here!!" hmm...confused, i recall that we had had a phone conversation about having the dogs meet outside first, so i mention this to her. she raises her voice to me that i should go put my dog in the car...i'm freaked out that a stranger is yelling at me when she's supposed to be showing me a room to rent (you would think that people would be on their best behavior for such an event). so i say "well, i'm feeling a weird vibe from you so i am going to leave". her response is...prepare yourselves it's a good one..."well you're too fucking stupid to even find the place!!!"

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

as my roommate says "mercury is in retrograde"...apparently this is something to do with the stars and it causes people to act strangely and for things to go very wrong...i think i might be buying into this idea...