Thursday, July 2, 2009

scratch, scratch...who's there?


so after the lost arrow spire trip, i just couldn't resist going back YET AGAIN to Yosemite! some guys from the gibbon slackline tour were headed up that way, so andy and i decided to join them. yet another 3 hour hike with excessively large packs, but yet another great time! this time i even encountered my first bear (named number 6 due to the tag on his ear). number 6 was ruthless with the stealing our food thing! unfortunately andy and i didn't have a bear box and so were hoping to shove our food into other peoples...but there was no room. SO, we hung our food in andy's bag from a tree hoping that nobody (meaning bears) would get to it. apparently number 6 was quite hungry! he dragged andy's pack into the woods, spewing everything in every direction. he even clawed our tent leaving lovely holes, AND stole andy's apple from INSIDE his coat pocket. fabulous. freddy made the best joke..."scratch scratch...who's there?...number...number who?...number 6!!"

besides number six, it was a fabulous time! the Yosemite Falls Line got rigged in about 3.5 hours, which was faster than we expected. so we got about 8 hours of daylight to play around. andy sent and jeremey sent, the rest of us gave lots of go's! i went out and sat on the line & tried a sit start, but just couldn't get myself to stand up! the rushing water underneath and the fact that the line was a bit long for me was too much! i can't wait to try again. i did crawl out to the middle though and play around. fun stuff!! (see my facebook photo albums for fun pics). patrick went out and sat on the line, mike made it about 3/4 of the way (then sent it a few days later) and freddy tried some sit starts. i met some great people on this trip, so much fun! i wish i could slack all day every day.

we had to head back after only 2 days because i had to work, but it was so worth it!! yosemite is like heaven for those of you who haven't been yet.

so, now i am back in the bay working at bridges. i love it, but for some reason i am really down. i'm guessing it's because i had so much fun in yosemite that i wish i was still there! and the fact that i am struggling to let go of a certain person who really only causes me grief. i know that there are so many things in life to be happy about, i have such great friends and the best job ever...i just can't help but feel a bit lonely. but aren't we all? i mean- even when i was in a relationship that was almost perfect, i never felt quite right and was always searching for more. maybe we'll never feel like everythings in the right place. or maybe it's just allowing yourself to be happy regardless of your situation. i am also pretty upset because theres a very large chance that the footage of my walk of the lost arrow spire has been lost. i know in my heart that it's not the footage that matters and i also know that i will never forget that experience as long as i live, i just can't stop thinking about the stupid tape!

anyway, i think the beatles sum it up in only a few words: "pools of sorrow, waves of joy". that's life, right? truly happy one minute, devestated the next. it's such a cycle. my goal is to allow myself to ride life's emotional ups and downs with ease rather than falling so deeply into my emotions. wish me luck.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

lost arrow spire


It has been a goal of mine for about three months now to walk the Lost Arrow Spire Highline in Yosemite National Park. I started slacklining (kind of like tight rope walking, but the line moves underneath you as your walk) just about when I began working at a Rock Climbing gym in El Cerrito,CA called Bridges. My friend and boss Damian Cooksey (one of the best slackliners on the planet! no really, it's true) and I had planned to go in the beginning of July to rig the line and make a trip out of it, but it turned out that some of our friends were already up there in June and the line had been rigged...so it was really temping to just drive out there and walk it! On Friday night we decided to do it, spur of the moment. We left at midnight, drove for a few hours and got to a campsite about 40 minutes outside of the Valley. We drove in but couldn't seem to find the actual campsite! We were way too tired to search so we got out our sleeping bags and slept on the ground in the middle of the RV campsite. Good thing nobody caught us. Such rebels :-P

The next morning we got up real early and drove into the Valley. We had to clear the car of all food and scents to prevent bear break ins and we also had a bag full of food that we didn't want to hike up the trail with us so we were going to put it in one of the big bear bins. Stupidly, out of instinct or something, I threw it away! Damian had climb onto the dumpster and fish it out with his hiking pole. I had thrown away this special sunscreen of his that reminds him of his honeymoon. Oopsies! Good thing Damian is the coolest ever.

We met up with Libby and others that were hiking up to the rim. We all stayed together for a while then Damian and I fell behind. It took about 3 1/2 hours to hike up. Brutal. I was sooo thrilled to get to the top! The whole hike up I could see the Spire Line and on occasion see someone walking it!

We got to the top, were soaked with sweat, and it was freeeeezing up there! So we bundled up and sat and watched while our friends Andy and Jenna walked the line. Jenna had sent it the day before, 2nd woman in the world!!

Storm clouds were rolling in, so Damian and I decided to get our butts down there and try it out. We had to repel from the top down to the flake where we could sit and prepare. I hadn't repelled like that in a while so i was a little freaked out. When we got to the flake I was feeling alright; not too nervous just yet. I decided to just give it a go rather than lingering there and thinking about it for hours. It was really cold and actually snowing a bit! I was wearing about 4 layers. Damian set up so that he could hold my hand for the first couple of feet. I felt like I was going to throw up once I stepped onto the line. It took me a little while to gather myself, but surprisingly I just went for it. I took my first couple of steps, let go of Damian's hand and off I went! I was pretty solid until I got to the center and the line changed (it feels a lot looser in the middle and it can throw you off). I started to lose control, my mind started to race and I bailed. Almost lost my favorite scarf while hanging upside down! There were two guys on the Spire that had just climbed it, and Damian was on the flake so I felt pretty comfortable and less alone than I expected to while dangling 3,000 above the Valley floor! I pulled myself back to the flake and let Damian give it a go. After a while I started to shake both from the cold and from the fear, so we jugged back up. Funny stuff actually. It was my first time "jugging" up a rope (you use aiders and walk up the rock while attached to the rope, and it's actually very difficult to figure out the flow of things!) I ended up swinging about 15 feet into Damian. Check out the photos and you'll see us struggling, it's hilarious.

We spent the night next to the fire drinking wine, "smacking the teet" (a silly game where you smack a bag of wine), giggling, telling stories, etc. Damian and I had to set up our "tent" in the dark and it was the most ridiculous piece of equipment we had EVER experienced. I don't think I could even begin to describe this thing. It must have been a scene. Anyway, we finally got it set up so that we wouldn't get rained upon. Goodnight.

When we woke the next morning, the weather was perfect! Sunny skies, a bit chilly, but no rain. We ate breakfast and headed back over to the Spire. When we got there Becca was walking; she sent it that morning! Both ways! 3rd woman in the world!!

When I got down to the flake that morning, I was more scared than the day before. I didn't expect that at all. I was shaking uncontrollably and my mind was playing games with me. We got a call from Libby while we were out there; she told us that the rangers were possibly going to come up and make us take the line down, so the pressure was on for me to send it! I went for it. The first steps were the hardest mentally, I just had to steady myself for the rest of the walk. I moved slower this time which helped a lot. Damian encouraged me the whole time, reminding me to breathe, to move nice and slow, and not to think about anything but the moment. I couldn't let myself think about the end or else I knew i would lose it. I'd been practicing on a longer line for weeks at the gym, so this was a walk in the park skill wise. It was the mental part that was getting to me. I lost my balance a bit in the middle but saved it this time! The last few steps....I didn't let myself panic, and there I was!! I made it! It was such a strong feeling of accomplishment that I felt like I was dreaming. I couldn't believe that I had actually done it. I had just become the 4th woman in the world to send the Lost Arrow Spire Highline!!!

It was the most incredible feeling, sitting out there all alone. I felt like I was on top of the world, maybe in heaven. It was so beautiful and I felt so proud, yet I couldn't stop my legs from shaking! I was pretty terrified thinking about what I was going to do next. I tried to ignore that and just enjoy the moment, the view, and the glory of reaching my goal. I didn't have a hand to hold this time and I was not yet comfortable doing a sit start (where you scoot out a bit onto the line and start from a sitting position). I decided to crawl back (pulley myself back underneath the line). This was more comfortable for some reason. I wonder what makes it so much scarier to stand up! I asked myself whether or not I would be disappointed if i didn't walk back. I decided that for me, just getting to the Spire was enough. Next time i will send it both directions, I know it!

I got back to Damian and a weight was just lifted from me. Some of the fear and shaking went away. I sat and watched him play around on the line for a while then it got too cold to sit there anymore. I'm trying not to forget these feelings; I honestly can''t believe that I actually did it....

Thursday, June 4, 2009

the first step is the battle


@ work and running out of things to do. so i thought i would write even though there isn't too much to write about...i don't think. except for the fact that i sent my first real outdoor highline last night! damian has one set up outside his house between two trees so we went after i got off of work. so fun! standing there for the first few minutes i really started to ask myself why i would even want to do such a thing. it's so scary just standing there, unsure about taking the first step, your mind telling you not to go! but once you do take the first step you realize it's not so bad, and when you get to the other side it's so satisfying and it's clear why you were there in the first place. i can't WAIT to do more highlines, i'm training for the spire and i want to be completely ready. i do not want to get all the way up there and chicken out. that's the last thing that i want, so it won't happen, i won't let it.

office phone is ringing but it's locked in damian's office. great.

i've recently discovered matt costa and i love his music. i recommend checking it out!

that's all.

Monday, June 1, 2009

bad moods are no fun

rough day today...really bad mood for some reason. woke up really late which made me feel super groggy. found out that poor melanie is having a lot of issues with the whole job search thing and signed a lease before she got a job....so she might have to move back to new hampshire which saddens me!!! i dont want miss melanie to leave. we went to the city so that mel could meet with a lady about being an egg donor....which may sound really strange but it pays 7.500 dollars! not only that but it seems so rewarding to provide a couple with such an opportunity they couldn't have otherwise. the only issue that i have with the whole thing is that there are soo many kids in the world without families so why create more? i truly think that adopting is a wonderful option for couples who can't conceive. i do realize that a lot of couples want to go through the 9 month period and the childbirth...but it just makes me so sad how many kids there are without homes and families of their own.

on a separate note, it smells like dog urine. my dog's urine. i keep spraying the area but it's not helping!!!! ahhhh pet smells.

sorry that this post is so negative, for whomever may be reading it. i am so crabby. i have my period, a headache, feel really lonely and will be very sad if melanie has to leave. am really not happy about my parent's moving out of the house i grew up in....blah. maybe i should make aa list of all the wonderful things in my life to make myself feel better.

1) i love my job.
2) my dog is really really cute.
3) i am going to yosemite in a little over a month!
4) i'm healthy.
5) i found a house right near my job and i'm moving in 2 weeks!
6) i loooove my bosses.
7) i'm getting a lot better @ climbing.
8) i'm going to be in a climbing/adventure film that comes out next year!
9) i live in the bay area...best place ever.
10) lately i've had the giggles like WHOA. it's fabulous.

Friday, May 29, 2009

stomp stomp stomp...

@ work with belle belle...she's looking out the window at some guy in a truck as if it's the most interesting thing she's ever seen. i like her.

i am so happy today, i finally found housing that's super close to work and it's a huge weight off my back. i heard a lot of stuff yesterday about a particular roommate (in my current housing situation) that doesn't like me because i walk loudly throughout the house. and when i call belle to come in from outside, it's loud. please note that her complaints range from morning, afternoon, evening to night. one time she came upstairs at 6pm and complained that we were stomping on the floor in the kitchen. first of all, it's 6pm. second of all, we werent stomping, we were walking like normal human beings. one should not expect their roommates to read their mind and assume they are sleeping at such an hour. melanie and i had quite a laugh over that one. it's true, i've always been a loud walker. but really, living with other people means that you need to adjust and learn new ways of handling situations. for example, sleeping with earplugs. or turning on a fan or music. or, nicely saying "could you try to walk a little more quietly?" for a while there, i thought that i was incapable of living with other people because she made me feel so uncomfortable but then mel reminded me that i have lived with others in many situationss very successfully. it's true, i guess this situation just wasn't ideal. this person has a lot of other issues that i feel i shouldn't dislose in my blog (like not even paying rent...) or even worry about so i think i will stop here.

better news, my dad got a job! isn't that fab? it's been a while since he's been making any money so i am thrilled for him and for my family as a whole. i hope that i can see my family sometime soon. i hate being 3,000 miles away from them! they're selling the house so maybe they will move out to CA! :) doubtful but i can hope! it's kinda weird not having my family out here and having to create one of my own...right now it's just me and belle. it's nice, learning to support myself more than just financially. i guess friends can be the family you make for youself as well.

well...more later.